Dear Bill,

It’s now been 8 years since you sent me the e-mail in which you promised to pay 10 cents for every e-mail I would forward. But as you have so far not responded to any of the e-mails I have sent (and then forwarded MULTIPLE times) on this topic, you leave me no other option than to use a public forum to contact you, such as this guest post on a blog which is hugely popular (or so I am told, and I can assure you: I’m not a person that is easily fooled!).

And please don’t claim that you have never received any of the mails, as I have used several different e-mail addresses: bill.gates@microsoft.com; william.henry.james@microsoft.com; bill_melinda@hotmail.com; richestguyintheuniverse@hotmail.com (Dear Mr. Slim, if you are now receiving the mails sent to this mailbox, please be so kind as to forward the ones I have sent to Mr. Gates – you can even earn some money doing this; read the rest of this letter carefully to find out how); bill.gates@gmail.com (come on, admit it, you have one for subscribing to newsletters and entering competitions to win an iPhone).

In these past 8 years I have really spent loads of time forwarding e-mails, no matter what obstacles have crossed my path. To give you an example: I have had to switch to another e-mail address and even to another internet provider SEVERAL times. (I’m not sure if you have heard of the concept of blacklisting? Well, I can tell you that all providers in the western world keep insisting on doing this – fortunately I now have some helpful friends in Ukraine; after having received your payment, I will probably send part of it to them, as they have already suggested that they would greatly appreciate this.)

For your convenience, I have very carefully kept track of all the e-mails I have forwarded all these years (across the various e-mail accounts and internet providers) and it all adds up to 85,658,225. So the current total amount due is $8,565,822.50. Please be so kind to transfer this as soon as possible to the bank account I have mentioned in the e-mails. In the unlikely case that you should not have access to any of my mails, please leave a comment to this post mentioning the e-mail address I should use to contact you or your cell phone number.

Should you unfortunartely choose to keep ignoring my messages, I will have no other option than to resort to countermeasures: as a long time user of Microsoft products (going back even as far as Windows 3.11 for Workgroups – and we both know this was not the best software product ever released!), I will stop using any Microsoft product and switch to Lunix.

Yours truly,

Serge V. Parcee,
Utah